Friday, January 17, 2014

Breathing Space

Have you ever noticed that when you stop obsessing about a problem, it usually sorts itself out?

"What do I mean by that?" you may well ask.

You have a problem.  It occupies your thoughts.  It fills your attention.  You experience anxiety over it.  You concentrate on the "fixing" of this problem.

OK, now you've done all that.  Now check in with yourself and ask this question. "Am I getting anywhere with this?"

If the answer is yes, then that's amazing and wonderful.

If the answer is no, then consider this.

Consider allowing it to be alright.  Give yourself permission to allow this problem to solve itself.  Stop allowing it to occupy you.  Stop allowing it to "Take" from you, your energy and your time and attention.

I know, I know.  Your problem is serious business.  Your problem Needs your attention.  You Must devote yourself to the fixing of this thing…even if now you're stuck. Stuck in a loop, or an energy holding pattern.

So shake yourself loose from it for a moment, and try to understand what I'm offering as an alternative.  This is not an easy concept to grasp, especially if the problem is really serious to you, but try because it may really help.

I'm going to tell you a story to illustrate what I mean.  First I must say that I am telling a true story, but it does not belong to any one person, because I have seen this over and over again.  So if you think that I'm talking about you, I am--but not exclusively you.  This story comes from many people I know personally, including myself.

You have a loved one who is seriously ill.  It may be a pet, a family member, or a friend.  You don't know what to do.  You are involved because you love this one.  You are extremely invested in the out come of the loved one getting well…or ending their life peacefully…or what ever it is you think needs to happen in this particular case.

Take a deep breath.  Now allow yourself to let go of what you think needs to happen.  This is not your burden to bear.  This is not your journey to  take.  Your job is simply to allow your dear one to make the choice.  And trust that they are experiencing life to their full potential.

Your job is to stand aside in a place of love and non judgment to give them the breathing room they need to either heal, or move on.  It's really that simple.

If you don't think you can do that, then please consider examining your motives. Be gentle with yourself, but be honest.

Spoiler alert:  If you can give this "breathing room" to your loved one, you will see something quite miraculous…and you will be forever changed by the experience.

This method works for all problems.  It really does.  Whether the problem is your health, your relationships, your job, etc.

The ability to take yourself out of judgment about what you think Needs to happen, will allow space for the miraculous to occur.

Are you brave enough to try?  It takes absolute faith and trust to pull it off.