Being Your Own Hero

Sometimes the unexpected happens and we are given the opportunity to observe our responses to unusual circumstances.  If we pay attention to how we operate in times of trauma, we can gain some insight.

It was shortly after 7 pm when I looked out the window and noticed that it was starting to get dark.  It had been raining all day long, and the light was fading faster than usual.

My hens always put themselves to roost in the hen house at the end of the day, and all I have to do is close the door, so I went out to do that, calling over my shoulder to my husband, Mike that I was going out to "tuck the girls in."

I had secured the door and was on my way back to the house.  The ground was saturated and really slippery and the shoes I use for "chicken herding" are old and don't have much tread left.

I took a step, and felt a wrench as my foot slipped out from under me and I hit the ground.

Agony!  My knee?  I decided not to analyze it.

I lay on the ground in the pouring rain, and tried to call to Mike.  In about a minute I realized that I was not going to be heard.  I made a tentative effort to stand.  Which was unsuccessful.  

My inner hero woke up and I realized I would have to help myself in this situation.

I'm an energy worker.  So that's what I did.  I’ve been trained in the BodyTalk System, which teaches a technique called "Fast-Aid" designed for emergency situations.  So I started out with a brain balance, and the first thing I realized, is that my inner dialogue, in other words, my thoughts did not want to calm down.  So at first it was hard to find my focus.  I just persisted with it, and was able to get into the routine of the technique.  With this technique, I was able to calm down, and actually take steps to help myself.

My next priority was to get to shelter.  It was dark, and I was getting drenched.  I tried calling Mike once more.  Nothing.  So the next step was to send out a beacon.

What do I mean by that?  Bodies are senders and receivers, much like a broadcast system.  We all have this technology if you will, built right in.

I could see one of my cats watching me from the window, so I asked her to get "Daddy" and I was also sending Mike a message to come find me.  (Afterwards Mike told me that my cat had started meowing persistently at the door and wouldn't stop until he got up to open the door.  Once he opened the door, I was able to get his attention.)

But in the meantime, I continued to help myself.  I probed my leg with my fingers, and realized there was no detectable swelling, and there was nothing out of place.  It wasn't hurting unless I moved it wrong or tried to put weight on it.  So I started scooting myself along the ground, keeping my injured leg in the air, trying not to think about all the chicken poo I was coming into contact with.

Before I had gone very far, I heard the door open and called to Mike, who helped me stand and then supported me as I hopped on one leg into the house.

After I got cleaned up and settled in on the sofa for the night, I did a healing session on myself, where I heard a small pop, and felt something shift gently.  I still couldn't walk on it, but I felt really good.  Happy, blissful, and like I was healing.

In the morning I woke around 4 am.  I still couldn't walk, but did another session and slept until 7 am.  

I was able to get up and walk unsupported, (but carefully) and without pain within 12 hours of the injury.  All of the other aches and pains which had threatened to manifest shortly after my fall (like back, neck and hips), never amounted to anything.

I learned some things about myself from this experience.  The first thing being that when confronted with the possibility that I might have to make a trip to the emergency room, my reaction was basically "Oh, hell no!"  Which was good, because it got me from traumatized victim to able bodied Hero (though slightly dented).

I also learned that I could rely on my own tools to stimulate my body to begin healing on a fast track, and that I could even use my mind to call for assistance from my husband and that he would somehow get the message.

Mostly I learned that I get to choose how I will respond to circumstances creatively in order to change  my experience. 

Autumn Flowers: Gifts For The Soul

I received a beautiful gift from a client I met for the first time on Tuesday.  I couldn't be more grateful for these dahlias grown so obviously with love.

With the colder weather, I have been very sorry to see the fresh vegetables die back in the local gardens, but now I am cheered by these hardy flowers that bloom in late summer and fall.  Their diversity in color, size and shape, is a reflection of us all.

Thanks K-, for a most thoughtful gift.  I am very happy every time I see them.

Sprouted Bread

We go through a lot of toast at Chez Tortorello.  It is a staple for Mike especially and it keeps him going as he keeps odd hours.  That means I have been seeking out the perfect bread,  a thing that still seems to elude me in my present world.

My goal is to find a bread making method that nourishes the body, without creating trauma, or triggering an immune response.  I know such methods exist.  Bread is not a villain.  It is not an enemy to the human system.  Many of us have just forgotten how to interact with it.  Our relationship with food has changed and broken down.  It is up to us to heal that.  We won't do it by avoiding food or fearing it.

Which brings me to an experiment that I'm conducting now--even as I type these words.

When researching sprouted grain bread recipes on line, I ran into a recipe on the Mother Earth News site for Essene Bread.  "Oh yeah," I said to myself.  "I remember that recipe from the Essene Gospels."

I found it on line in 1999 and because of the way it was written, I just couldn't wrap my head around how that could possibly work.

But here it was on MotherEarthNews.com and so I decided to try it.  I rummaged around in my cupboard and came up with a jar of Emmer Farro wheat I had bought from my local food co-op.  I was curious because it had been marketed as a variety dated back 20,000 years  (Wikipedia says "Grains of wild emmer discovered at Ohalo II had a radiocarbon dating of 17,000 BC.").

Here is the recipe as it appears in Part 2 of The Teachings Of The Essene Jesus.  "Let the angels of God prepare your bread. Moisten your wheat, that the angel of water may enter it. Then set it in the air, that the angel of air also may embrace it. And leave it from morning to evening beneath the sun, that the angel of sunshine may descend upon it. And the blessing of the three angels will soon make the germ of life to sprout in your wheat. Then crush your grain, and make thin wafers, as did your forefathers when they departed out of Egypt, the house of bondage. Put them back again beneath the sun from its appearing, and when it is risen to its highest in the heavens, turn them over on the other side that they be embraced there also by the angel of sunshine, and leave them there until the sun be set. For the angels of water, of air, and of sunshine fed and ripened the wheat in the field, and they, likewise, must prepare also your bread. And the same sun which, with the fire of life, made the wheat to grow and ripen, must cook your bread with the same fire. For the fire of the sun gives life to the wheat, to the bread, and to the body."

I'm using an oven instead of baking it in the sun because the sky is hazy today and the Sun is shining weakly through all that.

Mother Earth News recommended 250 °F for Two and a half hours.  It is a very small loaf which smells incredible.  And it did even before I started baking it.

I put the sprouted grain through my food grinder, and it really did grind into a dough consistency.  You just have to try it to know what I mean.  Then I formed it into a loaf, put it in the oven with a dish of water to help keep it moist, and baked for two hours.  I realized my oven is a little hotter, so I turned it off and am letting it sit in the oven for the last half hour.

It doesn't rise, but it is fermented and that's what I was going for.  To make it more digestible, and so the body can use more of the nutrients in the grain.

Here are some pictures...

Grinding the sprouted grain.

The cats think I'm making cat food, because I'm using the grinder.

Grains in the top getting pulverized. 

It looks a little like batter as it comes out of the grinder.

Very sticky batter consistency with a lot of fiber mixed in.

Wet hands before handling to shape the loaf.  This is really sticky.

Small loaf in a greased pie tin.  About the size of my open hand.

As you can see, it didn't get any bigger.  But very, very tasty.

OK, so maybe not the kind of bread you would make toast with, but this would be excellent with home made soup.

And now, I have a larger batch sprouting to try in a few days.  In water, in the open air, and in the sunshine.

Soaking grain (Angel of Water), outdoors (Angel of Air),
in the sunlight (Angel of Sunshine)

Just a final word about the sprouting process.  I followed the instructions from the Essene text for the sprouting, because it made sense.  I often sprout things indoors, in a jar.  This was a completely different experience.

The first day I soaked the grain outdoors in the sun.  At the end of the day, I brought it in, drained it, rinsed it, drained it again and put a cloth over the top to discourage fruit flies.  The next two days I rinsed and drained it two or three times each day because I left it outdoors in the sun during the day covered with a cloth, and didn't want it to dry out.

It got really bubbly every time I would rinse it.  So there was a nice natural fermentation going on which made the grains/dough/bread really fragrant all the way through the process.

There are all sorts of versions on line, if you want to try making sprouted bread.  They vary in method.  Some are modernized, and resemble regular bread making techniques.  Some are primitive and technically raw food.

I'm still experimenting, so I'm not sure if I'll continue with this method, but it is a fun way to interact with the food making process, and the bread was a success.  I may never use flour to make bread again.

Plastic Free July

This will most likely be my last post on the topic of Plastic Free July.

It has been an eye opening experience.

I have been a conscious consumer for a long time, but when it came to the plastic packaging issue, I now see that I was pretty complacent.  I just wasn't seeing how much of it was really out there.  So my participation in Plastic Free July has been very educational.

• It has also gotten me to be more proactive in asking for what I want.

If I see a company is using plastic packaging where they might be able to avoid it, or use an easy alternative, I write them and ask.

After reading about Beth Terry's campaign to get Brita to recycle filters in the USA, I see that letter writing is a great place to begin, but if a company expresses reluctance to reform, then we as consumers must insist, using other methods to prove to corporations (and small businesses) that we are serious.

http://myplasticfreelife.com/2007/06/water-filters-my-letter-to-brita/
http://myplasticfreelife.com/2007/07/brita-water-filter-follow-up/

These first two posts talk about the letter writing, and the BS response she was given by the corporation.

But that was not the end of the story.  She decided to take action, and conducted a campaign to get Clorox to recycle the Brita filters in the USA.  That story can be found in her posts by searching "water filters" on her blog.  I would not have known where to begin to bring about change on this scale, but she figured it out, and the story is inspirational.  So is her website.  http://myplasticfreelife.com/

• It has made me realize that I can't be sure what happens to the plastic I put into the recycling bin.  Where is it going?  Best just not to generate disposable plastic if at all possible.

• It has made me use creativity and ingenuity to come up with solutions to the plastic packaging problem.

Try going plastic free once a week ( like Plastic Free Tuesday ) or try it for a week, to really increase your awareness.  Go to Beth Terry's website (see the link for my plastic free life) to educate yourself and become inspired.

So now I have a confession to make.  I got a little sick of going without meat, because it all comes in plastic packaging (except poultry that I buy at a local farm).  So I bought some meat this week.

This doesn't mean that I've given up.  It means that I was hungry. And my husband (good sport that he is) was also missing it.

I haven't given up.  And I have been researching local alternatives.  Grass fed beef raised locally, ethically, and humanely.  Maybe these local farmers can help me come up with an alternative to plastic packaging.

Plastic Free July Days 21-23

After 23 days of trying to be plastic free, I find myself missing bacon.

I did find some at a local butcher shop, but I didn't want to trade organic, and humane certifications for non plastic bacon, so we have been doing without. And we talk about it with longing and nostalgia.

Besides, I'm afraid butcher paper has plastic in it too.

Plastic free is a hard discipline to follow.

I'm not sure it can be done 100%, unless you're willing to unplug from the mainstream and live a completely self sufficient lifestyle.

Otherwise, plastic will find you. It will come through the mail, and it will come via well meaning friends, family, waitresses and people in customer service. It comes from the bank and the government and the grocery store. It is all around us and all pervasive.

You can run, but you can not hide.

The good thing is, I am remembering to anticipate the arrival of plastic, and sometimes to head it off. Mostly by going without things.

If I'm in a restaurant, even one which uses glasses, I don't even order water because I know the waitress will stick a straw in it, even though I asked her not to. Because she's not really listening to my request, her mind is on a million other things. So I've just learned to bring my own glass water bottle with me into the restaurant. 

"No thanks, I've got my own".

Plastic Free July Days 18-20

I'm coming to the conclusion that there is no easy way to avoid plastic.

And so I decided to stop obsessing over it, and play this thing a little more gently.

I am learning a lot.  I am learning that there is a lot more disposable plastic than I thought there was.  I'm learning that no matter how hard I try it's almost impossible to avoid.  I'm learning that it's going to take more than .01% of the world population knowing about this problem and actively doing something about it.

I'm learning to smile at the inevitability of generating disposable plastic every time I go shopping.  People mean well, but they just don't know.

So I was at the bulk bins.  I was over loaded with my glass jars, and all manner of cloth bags, and paper bags that I keep reusing.  The girl at the customer service desk was dancing to the music playing in the store.  We smiled at each other and I felt pretty good.  So far, I had managed to go to 2 places and not generate any disposable plastic.  I needed pasta.

Imagine trying to liberate dry fettuccine from a bulk bin with a pair of slippery plastic tongs.  Honestly, I usually just dip my hand in and grab what I need, but the customer service girl was watching me, so I said with a laugh, "Is there a trick to getting the pasta out using these tongs?"

My helpful, dancing angel skipped away and came back wearing a plastic glove where upon she dipped her hand in and filled my bag.  My dismay lasted about 3 seconds while I made a note to self to keep my big mouth shut in future.  Then I basked in the glow of a helpful, joyful exchange with another human being who assured me that anytime I wanted help with the pasta, anyone could get a glove on and get it for me.  I resisted the temptation to say, "In that case, I'll just go back to buying it in a plastic package. It's cheaper for one thing, and I don't have to pick it up off the floor." (Did I mention, she dropped the bag and my pasta came into contact with the floor?  Which most certainly is dirtier than my hand.  Good thing it cooks in boiling water.)

It just felt a lot better to focus on her willingness to help me, and her pure joy, than to think about the comedy of errors that resulted all because I was trying to avoid plastic in the first place.  The Trickster hangs out in my back pocket, and I have learned to laugh, when he strikes.

And the biggest laugh I get is from thinking I'm doing any good at all by buying from the bulk bins, when I know that much of that stuff comes in plastic to begin with.

Here's another candidate for an email. Just leave it in the burlap bags, you don't need to repackage it.

#doingmybest

Plastic Free July Day 17

I started out today expecting to come home with plastic.  Hoping not to.  But I knew it was a possibility.  Because I needed to buy some chicken wire, and that usually comes with some kind of plastic.  Either straps or plastic film packaging around the outside.  So I was really gratified when I went to the farm store, and found 50 feet of chicken wire with no plastic at all.  That gave me hope and encouragement

But the straw came with the dreaded plastic straps.  Not even good ol' plastic hay twine, which can be recycled, but plastic packing straps.  Even strapped, straw is a material that manages to go flying all over the place.  I was  bummed. I wasn't expecting that kind of plastic.  But I see why they do it that way. (sigh)

But the real downer today was when I went into town for bread to the local bakery with my bread bag, and decided to order sandwiches.  One sandwich was wrapped in paper--non plasticized paper--yay! but tied with plastic raffia??? --really? Shite! The other sandwich was a total fail. It came in a brown paper box, lined with shiny plastic. Worse! Tucked inside the box was plastic utensils & a plastic cup with mustard in it.

Oh come on!!

I am starting to lose ground here.  Even when I try as hard as I can not to get plastic, I still get plastic.

Some kind soul comes for a visit bearing dessert...it's ice cream encased in disposable plastic, which looks like paper.  The plastic seal was so tough, I had to use a hefty knife just to whack through it.

This is the reality of the situation.  Honestly, it makes me want to cry.

So I'm going to have a little rant here.  Just a little one, and then I promise, it will turn positive.

Here's the things I'm sick of.  I'm tired of not being able to eat almost anything, because I don't trust food anymore. Between GMOs and artificial ingredients (made from the gmos), and toxins, and hormones, and animals that have been tortured and fish swimming in polluted seas, filling their bellies with plastic.

I'm sick of having to examine everything I buy under a microscope to find out if it was grown, or manufactured under organic, humane, safe, ethical, fair trade practices...

You know what? I'm just gonna stop right there.  Because I could go on about all the things I'm sick of and it would fill pages.

And I did promise to make this a little rant.

The truth is, that all the things I am sick of all have the same root cause.  There are too many greedy, sick, twisted, monstrous, psychotic, sociopaths running things.  There! Rant-in-a-nutshell.

I believe in telling the truth and speaking my mind.  So now that I wrote the words, what does that all mean?

It means, I see it.  I see it all.  I see all the things that make me sick, and in spite of how overwhelming it all is, I  will continue to live as I have been.  Doing the best I can, and breaking the cycle whenever I can.

And I will try to remember that we're meant to experience love and joy and peace and reverence and gratitude and abundance on Planet Earth, as well as taking a hard look at the experiences that contrast those things.  By holding those things up to the light, we are able to see them for what they are.

My heroes are the ones who live their lives fully with integrity and authenticity, in spite of what the rest of the world is doing.  So I try to follow their example and just get on with it.  Even when it seems overwhelming.

Can I get an order of love to go with a side of joy? Hold the plastic, please.  I'll pay for that with a hug and a smile.