Forgiveness

As the holidays approach, I find myself wanting to clear my paths to make way for the season of Love and Joy.  Part of that clearing is about forgiveness.

Forgiving myself, for the mistakes of the past, and forgiving others that I share human experiences with.  Forgiveness is my focus this week.  I don't want to be distracted by that old baggage.  I want to clear myself of all blame, bitterness, anger and grief.  

There are many tools to help us release and to forgive.  Some people write letters, some people use prayer, some have body work or energy work done, and some people use their own personal ceremonies to accomplish this.  If you're stuck for ideas and you feel overwhelmed at the prospect of working through issues of the past to find forgiveness whether for yourself or others, then do a search online to find something that speaks to your deepest heart.  I searched forgiveness chants, and a whole host of forgiveness exercises came up.

The energy of forgiveness, especially in forgiving yourself, allows for the most wonderful healing to occur.  It also makes you feel light years younger.

Have a good week.

Unexpected Treasure

Just a quick post (hopefully).  I can be pretty long winded.

I want to share how injuries can be wonderful gifts.


Have you ever noticed how you might keep injuring yourself.  Then you have a life changing shift in perception, and suddenly you're not doing that any more?

On Friday afternoon I was rushing about trying to get way too much done.  I was walking in through my front door with my hands full, and the door wasn't quite open wide enough, and I got an awful jolt when I hit it with my right shoulder.

And then I did something I've never done before.  I forgot all about it.  I remember experiencing rage, and then suddenly nothing.  My hands were full, I was busy, I bumped into a door--keep working!!!

I was with some friends later that evening and I realized my shoulder was swollen, and I thought "hmmm, inflammation.  I wonder what that's all about."

By the end of the evening I couldn't lift my arm.

The next morning I continued to use it even though I had very little motion.  And I kept wondering if I was getting bursitis, or some such.

That afternoon, I was seeing a visiting friend out to her car, and I turned to come back in through the front door, and the skin on my shoulder barely made contact with the door, but it was enough to awaken my body memory.  And then I remembered that I had bashed into the door on my way through almost 24 hours earlier.  But it wasn't until later that evening, when I could no longer move it at all in any direction, and the pain was excruciating, that my body memory reminded me that I had experienced this before, 28 years ago, and that Shoulder was most likely broken.

This is a pretty bad time for me to have this kind of an injury.  As an energy worker, I can do healing sessions with consciousness, and by distance.  This injury doesn't impact that kind of work.

But I am also the book binder for our family run press.  And we just released a book.  I am the only binder we have.  And I hand bind in small batches of six books at a time.  As quickly as I can.  A busted shoulder definitely has an impact on this kind of work.  And this time it's my right shoulder (my dominant hand).

"Two weeks," I told Mike.  That's how long it took 28 years ago, just to start using left shoulder again.

So here's the treasure part.  Sometimes when you have an injury, especially when you break something, you get an energy release.  I cracked into that shoulder, and rage was released! But that wasn't the only benefit.

Big life changes in just one little week.  In my relationships, in my work life, and in how I relate to myself.  Amazing.  Like cracking open a golden egg and releasing the richness within.  Such a huge shift in perception.

I'm not talking about looking for the silver lining, I'm talking about being showered with blessings.

So what's a little bone pain?  Excruciating? Yes!  But so worth it.

And a relatively easy shift in perception, is also allowing for accelerated healing to take place.  In other words, there is no longer a need to be injured.  Lesson learned, benefits reaped.  Let's get on with the healing.

Being Your Own Hero

Sometimes the unexpected happens and we are given the opportunity to observe our responses to unusual circumstances.  If we pay attention to how we operate in times of trauma, we can gain some insight.

It was shortly after 7 pm when I looked out the window and noticed that it was starting to get dark.  It had been raining all day long, and the light was fading faster than usual.

My hens always put themselves to roost in the hen house at the end of the day, and all I have to do is close the door, so I went out to do that, calling over my shoulder to my husband, Mike that I was going out to "tuck the girls in."

I had secured the door and was on my way back to the house.  The ground was saturated and really slippery and the shoes I use for "chicken herding" are old and don't have much tread left.

I took a step, and felt a wrench as my foot slipped out from under me and I hit the ground.

Agony!  My knee?  I decided not to analyze it.

I lay on the ground in the pouring rain, and tried to call to Mike.  In about a minute I realized that I was not going to be heard.  I made a tentative effort to stand.  Which was unsuccessful.  

My inner hero woke up and I realized I would have to help myself in this situation.

I'm an energy worker.  So that's what I did.  I’ve been trained in the BodyTalk System, which teaches a technique called "Fast-Aid" designed for emergency situations.  So I started out with a brain balance, and the first thing I realized, is that my inner dialogue, in other words, my thoughts did not want to calm down.  So at first it was hard to find my focus.  I just persisted with it, and was able to get into the routine of the technique.  With this technique, I was able to calm down, and actually take steps to help myself.

My next priority was to get to shelter.  It was dark, and I was getting drenched.  I tried calling Mike once more.  Nothing.  So the next step was to send out a beacon.

What do I mean by that?  Bodies are senders and receivers, much like a broadcast system.  We all have this technology if you will, built right in.

I could see one of my cats watching me from the window, so I asked her to get "Daddy" and I was also sending Mike a message to come find me.  (Afterwards Mike told me that my cat had started meowing persistently at the door and wouldn't stop until he got up to open the door.  Once he opened the door, I was able to get his attention.)

But in the meantime, I continued to help myself.  I probed my leg with my fingers, and realized there was no detectable swelling, and there was nothing out of place.  It wasn't hurting unless I moved it wrong or tried to put weight on it.  So I started scooting myself along the ground, keeping my injured leg in the air, trying not to think about all the chicken poo I was coming into contact with.

Before I had gone very far, I heard the door open and called to Mike, who helped me stand and then supported me as I hopped on one leg into the house.

After I got cleaned up and settled in on the sofa for the night, I did a healing session on myself, where I heard a small pop, and felt something shift gently.  I still couldn't walk on it, but I felt really good.  Happy, blissful, and like I was healing.

In the morning I woke around 4 am.  I still couldn't walk, but did another session and slept until 7 am.  

I was able to get up and walk unsupported, (but carefully) and without pain within 12 hours of the injury.  All of the other aches and pains which had threatened to manifest shortly after my fall (like back, neck and hips), never amounted to anything.

I learned some things about myself from this experience.  The first thing being that when confronted with the possibility that I might have to make a trip to the emergency room, my reaction was basically "Oh, hell no!"  Which was good, because it got me from traumatized victim to able bodied Hero (though slightly dented).

I also learned that I could rely on my own tools to stimulate my body to begin healing on a fast track, and that I could even use my mind to call for assistance from my husband and that he would somehow get the message.

Mostly I learned that I get to choose how I will respond to circumstances creatively in order to change  my experience. 

Autumn Flowers: Gifts For The Soul

I received a beautiful gift from a client I met for the first time on Tuesday.  I couldn't be more grateful for these dahlias grown so obviously with love.

With the colder weather, I have been very sorry to see the fresh vegetables die back in the local gardens, but now I am cheered by these hardy flowers that bloom in late summer and fall.  Their diversity in color, size and shape, is a reflection of us all.

Thanks K-, for a most thoughtful gift.  I am very happy every time I see them.

Sprouted Bread

We go through a lot of toast at Chez Tortorello.  It is a staple for Mike especially and it keeps him going as he keeps odd hours.  That means I have been seeking out the perfect bread,  a thing that still seems to elude me in my present world.

My goal is to find a bread making method that nourishes the body, without creating trauma, or triggering an immune response.  I know such methods exist.  Bread is not a villain.  It is not an enemy to the human system.  Many of us have just forgotten how to interact with it.  Our relationship with food has changed and broken down.  It is up to us to heal that.  We won't do it by avoiding food or fearing it.

Which brings me to an experiment that I'm conducting now--even as I type these words.

When researching sprouted grain bread recipes on line, I ran into a recipe on the Mother Earth News site for Essene Bread.  "Oh yeah," I said to myself.  "I remember that recipe from the Essene Gospels."

I found it on line in 1999 and because of the way it was written, I just couldn't wrap my head around how that could possibly work.

But here it was on MotherEarthNews.com and so I decided to try it.  I rummaged around in my cupboard and came up with a jar of Emmer Farro wheat I had bought from my local food co-op.  I was curious because it had been marketed as a variety dated back 20,000 years  (Wikipedia says "Grains of wild emmer discovered at Ohalo II had a radiocarbon dating of 17,000 BC.").

Here is the recipe as it appears in Part 2 of The Teachings Of The Essene Jesus.  "Let the angels of God prepare your bread. Moisten your wheat, that the angel of water may enter it. Then set it in the air, that the angel of air also may embrace it. And leave it from morning to evening beneath the sun, that the angel of sunshine may descend upon it. And the blessing of the three angels will soon make the germ of life to sprout in your wheat. Then crush your grain, and make thin wafers, as did your forefathers when they departed out of Egypt, the house of bondage. Put them back again beneath the sun from its appearing, and when it is risen to its highest in the heavens, turn them over on the other side that they be embraced there also by the angel of sunshine, and leave them there until the sun be set. For the angels of water, of air, and of sunshine fed and ripened the wheat in the field, and they, likewise, must prepare also your bread. And the same sun which, with the fire of life, made the wheat to grow and ripen, must cook your bread with the same fire. For the fire of the sun gives life to the wheat, to the bread, and to the body."

I'm using an oven instead of baking it in the sun because the sky is hazy today and the Sun is shining weakly through all that.

Mother Earth News recommended 250 °F for Two and a half hours.  It is a very small loaf which smells incredible.  And it did even before I started baking it.

I put the sprouted grain through my food grinder, and it really did grind into a dough consistency.  You just have to try it to know what I mean.  Then I formed it into a loaf, put it in the oven with a dish of water to help keep it moist, and baked for two hours.  I realized my oven is a little hotter, so I turned it off and am letting it sit in the oven for the last half hour.

It doesn't rise, but it is fermented and that's what I was going for.  To make it more digestible, and so the body can use more of the nutrients in the grain.

Here are some pictures...

Grinding the sprouted grain.

The cats think I'm making cat food, because I'm using the grinder.

Grains in the top getting pulverized. 

It looks a little like batter as it comes out of the grinder.

Very sticky batter consistency with a lot of fiber mixed in.

Wet hands before handling to shape the loaf.  This is really sticky.

Small loaf in a greased pie tin.  About the size of my open hand.

As you can see, it didn't get any bigger.  But very, very tasty.

OK, so maybe not the kind of bread you would make toast with, but this would be excellent with home made soup.

And now, I have a larger batch sprouting to try in a few days.  In water, in the open air, and in the sunshine.

Soaking grain (Angel of Water), outdoors (Angel of Air),
in the sunlight (Angel of Sunshine)

Just a final word about the sprouting process.  I followed the instructions from the Essene text for the sprouting, because it made sense.  I often sprout things indoors, in a jar.  This was a completely different experience.

The first day I soaked the grain outdoors in the sun.  At the end of the day, I brought it in, drained it, rinsed it, drained it again and put a cloth over the top to discourage fruit flies.  The next two days I rinsed and drained it two or three times each day because I left it outdoors in the sun during the day covered with a cloth, and didn't want it to dry out.

It got really bubbly every time I would rinse it.  So there was a nice natural fermentation going on which made the grains/dough/bread really fragrant all the way through the process.

There are all sorts of versions on line, if you want to try making sprouted bread.  They vary in method.  Some are modernized, and resemble regular bread making techniques.  Some are primitive and technically raw food.

I'm still experimenting, so I'm not sure if I'll continue with this method, but it is a fun way to interact with the food making process, and the bread was a success.  I may never use flour to make bread again.

Plastic Free July

This will most likely be my last post on the topic of Plastic Free July.

It has been an eye opening experience.

I have been a conscious consumer for a long time, but when it came to the plastic packaging issue, I now see that I was pretty complacent.  I just wasn't seeing how much of it was really out there.  So my participation in Plastic Free July has been very educational.

• It has also gotten me to be more proactive in asking for what I want.

If I see a company is using plastic packaging where they might be able to avoid it, or use an easy alternative, I write them and ask.

After reading about Beth Terry's campaign to get Brita to recycle filters in the USA, I see that letter writing is a great place to begin, but if a company expresses reluctance to reform, then we as consumers must insist, using other methods to prove to corporations (and small businesses) that we are serious.

http://myplasticfreelife.com/2007/06/water-filters-my-letter-to-brita/
http://myplasticfreelife.com/2007/07/brita-water-filter-follow-up/

These first two posts talk about the letter writing, and the BS response she was given by the corporation.

But that was not the end of the story.  She decided to take action, and conducted a campaign to get Clorox to recycle the Brita filters in the USA.  That story can be found in her posts by searching "water filters" on her blog.  I would not have known where to begin to bring about change on this scale, but she figured it out, and the story is inspirational.  So is her website.  http://myplasticfreelife.com/

• It has made me realize that I can't be sure what happens to the plastic I put into the recycling bin.  Where is it going?  Best just not to generate disposable plastic if at all possible.

• It has made me use creativity and ingenuity to come up with solutions to the plastic packaging problem.

Try going plastic free once a week ( like Plastic Free Tuesday ) or try it for a week, to really increase your awareness.  Go to Beth Terry's website (see the link for my plastic free life) to educate yourself and become inspired.

So now I have a confession to make.  I got a little sick of going without meat, because it all comes in plastic packaging (except poultry that I buy at a local farm).  So I bought some meat this week.

This doesn't mean that I've given up.  It means that I was hungry. And my husband (good sport that he is) was also missing it.

I haven't given up.  And I have been researching local alternatives.  Grass fed beef raised locally, ethically, and humanely.  Maybe these local farmers can help me come up with an alternative to plastic packaging.

Plastic Free July Days 21-23

After 23 days of trying to be plastic free, I find myself missing bacon.

I did find some at a local butcher shop, but I didn't want to trade organic, and humane certifications for non plastic bacon, so we have been doing without. And we talk about it with longing and nostalgia.

Besides, I'm afraid butcher paper has plastic in it too.

Plastic free is a hard discipline to follow.

I'm not sure it can be done 100%, unless you're willing to unplug from the mainstream and live a completely self sufficient lifestyle.

Otherwise, plastic will find you. It will come through the mail, and it will come via well meaning friends, family, waitresses and people in customer service. It comes from the bank and the government and the grocery store. It is all around us and all pervasive.

You can run, but you can not hide.

The good thing is, I am remembering to anticipate the arrival of plastic, and sometimes to head it off. Mostly by going without things.

If I'm in a restaurant, even one which uses glasses, I don't even order water because I know the waitress will stick a straw in it, even though I asked her not to. Because she's not really listening to my request, her mind is on a million other things. So I've just learned to bring my own glass water bottle with me into the restaurant. 

"No thanks, I've got my own".